Midget sex pt 2 tonight
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
