you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
