i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Randomize
