I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
