I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Randomize
