We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
