Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
