How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
