So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
