We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Everclear isn't food dammit
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
