My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
