The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Randomize
