i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
