no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Randomize
