Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
