come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
