he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
