Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
