i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
She bit a glass in half.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
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