Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
