so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
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