id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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