I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
