I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
