Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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