C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
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