Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
