you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
