It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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