just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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