Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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