Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
