____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
