I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize
