I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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