Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
