As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
