Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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