it wasn't lemon gatorade
Buhtt sex?
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
