I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
