In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
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