yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize
