sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
home. puking in laundry basket.
He felt like a one man threesome
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
