I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
