Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
He did a backflip because drugs
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