you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
