I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
