mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Randomize
