I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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