I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Everything about him screamed your future.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
