hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
