I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
